Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Changes that Come from Within

Today I spent the afternoon walking through the fields, river, and lanes near where I live. As I walked my mind was full of thoughts that occupied each step; thoughts ran into new thoughts and threads strung themselves out like they were creating a mental path to mimic my physical one. And as I walked I continuously thought about the future. Not so much about the physical changes - the earth changes - but rather about how I would change. What would I be doing in these years ahead. Or rather - what should I be doing in these years ahead. The place to be is where I need to be - the question is: how do I put myself in that place.

Such a place is not only physical - it is, importantly, a state of being. One that comprises balance, harmony, and function. What life choices do I need to be making in order to start manoeuvring myself into adoptive and adaptive positions? And this necessarily equates to making some sacrifices, mainly around career and life projects. Yet my career has always been secondary to my 'life function'; or I should say that my 'career sense' has been bent around the trajectory of my 'self'. Yet can I give up my present life structures? My answer is yes; I don't have a problem with that. Can I feed myself? Ahh... I hope so! So the answer has to be one of faith - to go in the direction I feel instinctively I should be moving in, and 'trust' that the cosmos will support me.

Yet wasn't there a hadith from the Islamic faith that goes: 'Trust in Allah yet tie your camel first'... I've always liked that one... so one needs to be pragmatic too. Question is - how much of a luxury is pragmatism in these changing times when one really needs to be putting their life into 'change of gear'? That question is one I have no answer for. There is a lot I don't know. Truly! There is too much I don't know and not enough time to fill in the gaps. Yet something has to be done.

It would be a lazy choice to simply do nothing. Why? Because the Times are too important for that, and the consequences too significant. These are unprecedented times, of this there is no doubt. So I ask myself - regularly - why am I here at this time? Isn't this proof enough that I have to be doing more than no-thing? I agree.

These are times of the awakening. Times of change - yes. Times of upheaval - yes. Times of loss - yes. Times of gain - yes. And yet so much more. Times of Transition - definitely... We can point out the clues until we are breathless: have you seen the latest military build-ups? The latest EM weapons; weather warfare methods; synchronistic media?, etc - all laudable to point out the signs. Yet beyond the pointing must come the change - and there is only one place from where that can come: from Within.

Yet I too spend too much of my time doing the pointing - and as long as I have the Internet I will continue to point - and to join the Club of Pointers. However, I now need more than this. I need to make some choices in order to facilitate change. I am unable to continue along present lines - I am not nourished enough. Along with listening more to the inner voice, I now need to consider preparation. It is time to consider that there are things much more important than the 'material threads' that bind us to the socialisation of our lives - and I say this as a so-called sociologist! It's no good having a PhD if all you do is write papers that nobody really reads whilst all the time the world is morphing around you. What about family, relatives, and loved ones - how much have they been told? Would they laugh and ridicule? Mmmm...

Well, perhaps it is time to be a bit more vocal within the local world we inhabit. Time to drop a few hints to family members: to ask - 'what if?'

I remember the lines from TS Eliot's 'The Love Song of J. Afred Prufrock':

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"

... Do I dare
Disturb the universe?

... And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the
And this, and so much more?--
It is impossible to say just what I mean!

...I grow old . . .I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Well, maybe it is time 'to dare'... To 'disturb the universe'...To make some changes. To step out - to step forward. And when I do; and when people ask me what I am doing - I will simply tell them the truth of what I know. I have nothing to lose but my 'self', and that's something I'm willing to wager...


Angela said...

Yes, many similar thoughts across the world from you. We say, believe in God but put brakes on your car! Also, "when I am old I shall wear purple, with a red hat that doesn't go..."

Like you I feel the need to balance all the techno knowledge with more spiritual thoughts, and sometimes decisions...sometimes the transformation is so rapid, though, we occasionally lose ourselves in it. Must come up for air!

Anonymous said...

Please check out this reference which posits that Western anti-"culture" (in particular) has profoundly disturbed the Indivisible Unity of Existence-Being, and that if we dont change our collective act very soon, the universe will bite back in no uncertain terms.